𝕜𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕦𝕒 ⚡ 𝕫𝕠𝕝𝕕𝕪𝕔𝕜 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
trypanophobic) wrote2019-07-31 08:54 am
trypanophobic) wrote2019-07-31 08:54 am
i guess this lives here instead
Who: Killua, Blue, Gon
Where: Babyhouse (the apartment of said 3 people)
When: After Helisium
Format: [brackets]
Open/Closed closed
Summary: Killua comes home drunk as fuck from his attempt to decompress at the festival—but there's a reason why Killua isn't much for letting loose and living in the moment...
[Killua comes home pretty late. it's not really on purpose—a lot happened, and Killua found he was having so much fun, he wanted to maintain the way he was feeling... you know, from snatching drinks off trays. or straight up off bar counters, when he got to feeling a little too ballsy. eventually, he of course was caught, but not quite met with consequence. too slippery. and he'd hung out with some other folks—girls he already knew, and now felt a little closer to. and it was fun! it was fucking fun, and simple, and fine.
and now he's back here. the god forsaken den of tension. it's like all of Killua's patience for this situation has been drowned as much as his sobriety. but of course, he isn't totally bent out of shape—it seems like his evening has more or less had the desired effect on his mood, displayed by his clumsy entrance, followed by a boisterous laugh as he hangs off the door handle. he's not going to let the tension get to him—he won't bend any longer! enough is enough. he's decided this.]
Oops! Haha! Wow.
[his laughter clears up with a sigh as Killua closes the door, a little loudly. oops. it's still amusing to him how compromised his motor skills are; he'd thought he'd adjust by now. Killua's always poisoned himself on purpose, but the effects weren't usually so novel.]
Watch it.
[indeed, this is said to the door as Killua regains a straight posture—but it's sort of abnormally so, like he's overcompensating.]
Where: Babyhouse (the apartment of said 3 people)
When: After Helisium
Format: [brackets]
Open/Closed closed
Summary: Killua comes home drunk as fuck from his attempt to decompress at the festival—but there's a reason why Killua isn't much for letting loose and living in the moment...
[Killua comes home pretty late. it's not really on purpose—a lot happened, and Killua found he was having so much fun, he wanted to maintain the way he was feeling... you know, from snatching drinks off trays. or straight up off bar counters, when he got to feeling a little too ballsy. eventually, he of course was caught, but not quite met with consequence. too slippery. and he'd hung out with some other folks—girls he already knew, and now felt a little closer to. and it was fun! it was fucking fun, and simple, and fine.
and now he's back here. the god forsaken den of tension. it's like all of Killua's patience for this situation has been drowned as much as his sobriety. but of course, he isn't totally bent out of shape—it seems like his evening has more or less had the desired effect on his mood, displayed by his clumsy entrance, followed by a boisterous laugh as he hangs off the door handle. he's not going to let the tension get to him—he won't bend any longer! enough is enough. he's decided this.]
Oops! Haha! Wow.
[his laughter clears up with a sigh as Killua closes the door, a little loudly. oops. it's still amusing to him how compromised his motor skills are; he'd thought he'd adjust by now. Killua's always poisoned himself on purpose, but the effects weren't usually so novel.]
Watch it.
[indeed, this is said to the door as Killua regains a straight posture—but it's sort of abnormally so, like he's overcompensating.]
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[After all that's happened this month, Blue had nearly forgotten, but the memory rushes back again with a furrow of his brow. I'm not a homo, he'd insisted, derisively. girly, uptight he'd called him.]
[(Damn. But he'd really gotten that good burn in on him. Heh heh... Blue's lips almost curl again, twitching, as he remembers............)]
[But Killua had been so violently in denial about it, hadn't he? And yet he can't imagine anything else from him but that he preferred boys. At the very least. He just doesn't understand why he seems to be so ...afraid of it.]
[It makes his heart hurt a little. For the sake of his friend's happiness, he thinks, but it also feels a little personal.]
[There'd been something else, too. 'If I was gonna ask someone out, I'd be way more direct about it', he'd insisted.]
[Blue wonders if that was really true.... And somehow, he feels a little sadder.]
It's fine. [After all that, that's all he says, and slowly he pushes away from the counter, like he's going to finally give up and put the distance between them again, after the last few intense moments.]
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...I made assumptions, too.
I was afraid I was wrong.
[god, why can't he stop talking!? he wants to disappear, but it feels..... really, really good, to be... sort of honest, anyway. is that why his heart is still racing? the panic? adrenaline of being real about his nature, even if so indirectly?]
...I'm glad that I know some people kind of like me. Sorry for being like that. Um. And—
[he glances up at Blue again, briefly, and with a blink, his eyes are somewhere else again.]
—thanks for telling me.
[it helps him feel less weird. well, in some ways.]
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[....It was okay. It was stupid to think that all of this-- that any of that was anything more than the same kindred kindnesses they had shared with each other up to this point.]
[Killua was his friend. They were both lonely, and both misunderstood... So it was bound to be that they would have things like this in common, too.....]
[It didn't have to be like that, he supposes, ignoring the sinking in his chest.]
[It was definitely better if they just felt something like this between each other, too. After all, up to this point, Blue had only ever thought about......]
I don't really get why it scared you or anything, but you don't gotta tell me. It's not really my business. [His eyes flick away, then down.] I never thought about it too hard.
I like who I like.
[His lips press together, hard, to keep his face from trembling.]
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I guess that's how it is...
[Killua could tell Blue why he's cagey about it, but he's too drunk. even sober, it's a little bit of a challenging subject. he huffs, sitting up too straight; his arms reflect the rigid posture, and once they do, his back is bending, his head craning back a little.]
Man, you know, [he then says suddenly, deliberately pushing away from his prying, wondering mind. he wants to tear apart this shift in mood, but knows, even drunkenly, it may be better not to. maybe if he were sober, he'd think to put in that work. but even besides his state of intoxication, Killua swore he'd take a day off.]
I miss the internet and stuff! I wish... we could like, watch something, [he huffs. maybe all this tension comes from inadequate distraction...] I know I've complained about videogames to you, but it'd be nice to even just look at dumb stuff on a phone right now.
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[It trails back away. His eyes fall down and away again, and he retreats himself back to the sink to work at dishes. Almost done....]
[...It'd probably be better if he went to his room soon, anyway. He wanted to make sure Killua wasn't going to get himself into trouble drunk, but he isn't sure how much more of this he can take. His feelings are too tender right now.]
[And then he nearly drops the fork he's holding, it clattering loudly as he catches it again against the sink. He swallows hard, squinting into the reflection in the silver. Is... is he saying what Blue thinks he's saying...!?]
Y-you... Watching dirty stuff with another guy still isn't just like, normal, you know.... [He hisses, seedily squinting over his shoulder- like he's not sure he's heard right.] What're you...
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[he leans back again, eyes widening.]
Huh—?!?
[flushing across either of his ears, Killua stares in incredulous disbelief, then begins to laugh. and he slips out of his stool, but catches himself, and is... going down. slowly.]
Oh my god...! No! No... [he's holding onto the edge of the counter, but eventually, he's in a full crouch, his head hanging.] I didn't mean that! [he shouts from down there, his face so, so red.]
Sheesh, I'm not that bad.
[a thoughtful pause.]
...I do miss porn, too, but that's private.
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[Blue grumbles, a little too burnt to turn and give the pratfall any more attention than it got already. This little imp became a total clown with alcohol in him.....]
Aren't you? [He glances back, lips pursed. It's hard to tell if he's being playful, or bitter.] You sure made it sound that way!
[Ugh!! Blue tosses the rest of the silverware into the drying rack, and walks across to Killua's side of the kitchen island, on his way to the hallway, and rests his hands on his hips. Sigh.]
...You're really drunk, still... You should go to bed so you don't cause any more trouble.
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he has been causing trouble. and up until now, it was fun. now it's kind of confusing. but nice... he's happy that he admitted to someone, however indirectly, that he swung a certain way... and learned that Blue kinda did, too.
he flushes, realizing he's just staring dumbly.]
Shit. I'm still pretty awake...
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Okay, come on. [Blue waves him along.] I'll make sure you and your water make it to your room, so don't make a mess, okay? If you're gonna barf, grab a trashcan or something......
...I can warn you from experience.......
[Really. It was awful!! Stupid Guzma!!]
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I still can't believe that. You really threw up?
I'm not that drunk. [a frown. he thinks. he can mostly talk pretty well, still! and he isn't slurring... but everything does feel a little fast and spinny. BUT HE CAN WALK (also mostly) fine. see, look at him go.]
I bet if it was with me, you woulda had way more fun. Lousy company!
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[He snaps, ready to shove Killua back onto his ass on the kitchen floor. But since he's so kind, he won't!!] I drank a whole lot. I don't wanna talk about it....
[He scoffs, watching him stumble up to his feet anyway, and then walks to push him along by his back, gently, whenever he seems to stall or stumble.] ...Probably, but I wouldn't have been drinking if I wanted to have fun.... Tch. Come on...
[He nudges Killua all the way to his room, opening the door, and making sure he's guided properly to his bed. He finds the nearest wastebasket and drags it closer- it's a little awkward with Gon's bed in the way... Pushed up against Killua's....]
[His mouth twists, and he tears his eyes away.] Lay down. Do you need anything else? Here's water.
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his hand, reciprocated flatly on Blue's back as he guides Killua to his room, does a little curl with this expression. it's a good reminder.
Killua doesn't lay down so much as throw himself to his bed, and he cracks an eye open at Gon's bed. again. he'd forgotten. Gon seems to be doing that more than ever... he rolls onto his back, arm folded over his forehead as he looks back up at Blue.]
No, [he answers.] You already did so much! [he then beams. he lowers his arm to squish his cheeks together at Blue.]
Thanks for taking care of me~
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Idiot. Thank me by taking care of yourself.
[Blue lets out a little sigh, then turns for the door again. As he closes it, he glances back at Killua- his cheeks still pink- and seems to flush a little more before he snaps it shut again.]
[Arceus. What a weird night. Blue is going to have .........a lot to unpack.]
GOOd? MORNING
on top of it all, Killua stays up late, too.
he wakes up feeling...... dry. he doesn't remember it, but Gon had cautiously tried to wake him up a couple times. Killua had apparently given him some snappy, cranky responses, and Gon had simply just refilled his water and told Killua to contact him if he needed anything. the morning was slipping away!
Killua remembers none of this. he sits, his hair somehow crazier, and he feels...... dry. so impossibly dry. and way too hot. has he ever sweat so much in his sleep, besides fevers? he leans over his bed, and is earned with an unpleasant, achy headful of swim sensation for it.]
Urk...
[he settles himself with his palm against the hardwood floor, waiting for the subtle spins to stop. with shuddering breath, he straightens with his glass of water, and since he doesn't remember Gon refilling it, regrets not having drank it before bed. even though he did. finer details like that are a little hazy. he downs the water, then peels off his shirt, groaning as he flops onto his back.
otherwise, unfortunately, he remembers everything.
he's sure he reeks, so Killua eventually summons the effort to shower—he takes a little longer than usual, because everything is terrible (and then some). eventually, he resurfaces, trying to decide if he feels better. towel around his shoulders, Killua steps out squinting from he and Gon's room.
he stands a moment, seeming either bewildered or full of grumpy remorse for existing.]
Fuck.
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[Spent the entire night tossing and turning with indecision. Indecision on what any of what Killua said meant; indecision on his own feelings. Killua's drunken fate, as it were, was left to what he assumed was Gon's capable hands.]
[By mid-morning, he's almost even forgotten about it- until....]
[It's already so late that he isn't expecting Killua's appearance once it happens; he'd long since cautiously crept out from his room after some initial anxiousness.]
[But when he glances up over the edge of the book he's reading, he immediately jolts, and flushes, and stares. Except he isn't sure Killua can actually see anything right now, with how he's squinting miserably at the rest of the world.]
[Blue remembers that. He doesn't envy him.]
[He decides not to say anything, instead maintaining long, apprehensive eye sort-of-contact. He doesn't know what Killua remembers, much less will tolerate at this juncture.]
...Morning... [He meekly whispers. Maybe that much is okay.]
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M—morning...
[Killua's awkward response and matched pinkness in his face might answer whether or not Killua remembers anything. Killua's fists with slow uncertainty close around either end of his towel.]
Damn... what time is it?
[if Blue's just sitting around reading...]
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[Ah. So he remembers. Blue's flush grows in turn, eyes slowly, coyly curving away again back to his book. He raises it slightly, over his nose.]
[Damn him, just standing around in a towel.......]
Almost noon. I know you wake up late, so I wasn't worried, but.....
[His eyes creep back again. But, now he's worried.] You feel like Trubbish, right?
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[it's about an hour later than usual...
to the sight of Blue just shyly tucking into his book, and the way he raises it like that......... so stupid. Killua opts to cradle his head, forefinger and thumb on his eyes.]
Yeah, [he mumbles, assuming that means hot garbage. most of his weird world's slang is similar enough...] I feel like I've never drank water in my life...or slept.
I wonder if this is what it feels like to be poisoned.
[karma, baybee
Killua takes some weary steps towards the kitchen, fetching himself a glass of water. cuz he forgot the one in his room, and it's dead to him now.]
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[Then it occurs to him. He blinks with surprise, glancing up from his book again.] I thought you couldn't get poisoned....? But you didn't have any immunity to alcohol? [The most common one....]
[WTF, Zoldycks, pick up the slack!!]
[Blue watches him struggle towards the kitchen with a moment of reluctance, before unfolding himself from the couch and moving ahead of him, getting the glass full of water before he can make it there. He nearly motions to help cradle it up for Killua to sip, hovering nervously.] Here. Drink slowly...
Don't try to eat too much more until you're sure you won't get sick. I made that mistake, ugh...
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he starts when Blue tries to—help him—drink? sort of? Killua takes the glass, glancing at Blue sort of sheepishly. HE'S FINE. and yet, mysteriously, Killua says nothing.]
Oh, really?
Cuz I'm starving...
[he blinks thoughtfully, sipping his water.]
I don't really feel nauseous, but I'll give it some time anyway.
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[Once he seems fine, Blue stops his hovering, but he pinks when Killua glances at him like that. Maybe he was just being annoying...]
Well, if you think you’re okay. I’ll make something, if you want, I guess.
[Blue is being awfully generous this morning, isn’t he? And a little clingy. Hmm.]
[He busies himself in the kitchen, hoping Killua will ease himself into a low chair.] I hope at least now you know why I said to avoid all that troublesome stuff...
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Thanks, [he says, indeed slumping into one of the stools. similar to last night, he leans on it. he's always sitting here, watching Blue and Gon cook and stuff...]
Oh. [he blinks, then, his tired face breaks into an easy smile.]
Heheh, I guess. I had a lot of fun, though.
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Whether you had fun or not isnt the issue.... [He grumbles, face pinking again while its turned away into the fridge.] Anyway, you can have fun without suffering through this, isn't that better?
[He’s trying not to bring up... exactly what happened....]
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[Killua doesn't really want to pry, anyway—not around his emotional state at the time or anything. but there's one matter of contention. his eyes narrow.]
Hey, what were you doing drinking with that guy, anyway?
[BAD VIBES. adults are bad. what the hell was Guzma thinking?]
How'd that even happen? The nerve of that shithead...
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[When Killua brings up what Blue had mentioned he previous night- ah, he remembers that too- Blue pauses mid-reach into the cupboard before continuing what he was doing, without turning around. He frowns though, more as though considering something difficult.]
[How the heck does he explain what happened with Guzma...]
It’s a long story... [He doesn’t even know where to begin. Killua never really heard about when Red first showed up, he thinks; and Blue has no desire to describe the terrible state he ended up in, the nosedive his mental health took, and how Guzma was the only one to demonstrate an understanding of any sort...]
[...Even if his solutions weren’t quite... the best...] That jerk irritates me and it always seems to be trouble dealing with him, but... he’s helped me out a few times, believe it or not. [He purses his lips, turning slightly back to face Killua, more by necessity as he continues preparing brunch.] I can’t really explain it well except that his Roar is worse than his Bite. Once you get that, you can just ignore the dumb stuff he says okay.
[None of this is really an answer though, Blue realizes, and furrows his brow.] He was trying to cheer me up, I guess. He just really sucks at it.
—Whatever happened when you fought, I still assume he deserved it. He deserves whatever stupid stuff he gets himself into. Tch, I hope he gets attacked by one of those poor monsters he goes hunting. [Little does he know.]
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